Does the love of your life avoid you and turn on the TV?  Does your teen roll her eyes and say, “stop asking me so many questions?” Does your beloved say, “not now?” Do you hear, “I don’t know what I feel.” or “I don’t want to talk about it.”  If you answered yes twice or more,  it may mean you are a pursuer. Pursuers move towards other people looking for emotional connection, affection or sex. When they are upset, they  call a friend.  Distancers feel upset and turn on the TV, computer or go for a drive while their pursuing partner wants to talk about it and communicate. You can pursue your spouse around conversations and distance from him around sex. Conversely, he might pursue you sexually and distance from you emotionally. Pursuers calm their insides with people, while distancers calm their upset with objects, books, golf, computers, TV, etc.